Emotional and Physical Closeness

Although it may be the delusion setting in since my eyes have been stuck to my computer screen all week for finals, all I can think of is the lyrics to Sweet Caroline while writing this blog on touch. So bear with me here...

Physical touch has always been a key factor in my relationships growing up. I always felt a sense of emotional closeness to a person by literally being close to them. I was used to the constant PDA with my boyfriend growing up, used to the sleepovers in the same bed with my girlfriends in high school, and used to hugging anyone I saw when saying hello or goodbye. Not hugging was weird... who didn't like hugs?? I didn't know any person of this nature until I met my roommate heading into freshman year. May God bless her, the girl did not like hugs! Because of this, I went into panic mode thinking that we wouldn't form a close relationship and that ultimately, I wouldn't be able to express how much I loved and appreciated her without the best way I knew how. Long story short, we are heading into our senior year living together for the fourth year in a row and she is more than family to me (and is even a sister to my own sister back at home!). It sounds dramatic, but with this limit on physical closeness, I was able to find new ways to express my appreciation for her and she even adapted to hugging a liiiittle bit more than she used to.
My importance on touch, especially shown throughout my relationship with my roommate, is one that emphasized the positive connotation that I have towards the sense of touch. This is something that has not always been the norm for people. Constance Classen's book on the Deepest Sense: Cultural History of Touch involves the chapter on the focus of the negative aspects of touch; pain. She writes, "Pain--caused by hunger and thirst, heat and cold, injuries, overwork, and illness--was a commonplace of premodern life" (Classen 47). I was surprised by this in how someone could immediately reference negativity with the sense of touch. I had been surrounded by such positive ones that I was almost blinded by the relationship that physical closeness had to my emotional connections with others.

Comments

  1. Very perceptive and insightful. You seem quite attuned to synthesizing your experiences of sense deprivations - a friend not into hugs, a class all about feeling through the senses having to go on-line - with your positive experiences your physical senses into to a new level of understanding!

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