Touch Starved

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Part of the reason why our current situation in quarantine is so difficult is that we can only look at our loved ones from afar. We can't hug, hold hands, kiss, high-five, or do any of our usual mannerisms we could do in person. Seeing my friend's faces on a screen is much too different than seeing them in person. Though my love language is expressed through words of affirmation and not touch, I'm willing to believe that touch comes to a very close second.
The Deepest Sense: A Cultural History of Touch by Constance Classen emphasizes how touch can impact someone's experience of the world. What might be brushed off as casual handshakes, high fives and so on actually contribute deeply to our understanding of what it's like to be human. As we are social creatures, it's only natural that touching is such an important part of our lives. Whether the touches be platonic or sensual, it seems that we cannot help but crave physical intimacy with other people. This is why being touch starved can have such a negative impact on people. I know I am touch starved, so any hugs from any friends, high fives or even cuddling with stuffed animals when I was younger are so important to me (and to be honest I can't fall asleep as easily if I'm not hugging something). 

Tanny Do
Even the experience of scratching your pet behind the ears, patting them and being able to hold loved pet in your arms is an important experience, especially so since we cannot communicate with words to our pets. Just like how Classen talks about touch connecting us as social creatures, I would argue that this also applies to our pets. Studies have shown that owning a pet can provide many benefits. While this data isn't strictly just about touch, I'm willing to be there are similar studies done about the benefits of having friendly human contact in the form of hugs, handshakes, high-fives, and etc. I could never imagine not being hugged by loved ones, but I know a few people that prefer not to be touched. 


Comments

  1. William MyungApril 24, 2020 at 11:01 PM

    Quarantine and social distancing has really tested the limits of how long we can go without touch as a love language. It also has revealed the limitations of videoconferencing and how it will never be an adequate replacement for in-person meetings.

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  2. Aidan TravisApril 28, 2020 at 10:00 AM

    Living in isolation is extremely difficult. People in the future will say, 'Well, it couldn't be too bad, you could still video call and what not.' but this is far from the truth. Physically being in the presence of someone and not worrying about how close you are to them is something that seems pretty foreign to me at this point. I also really enjoyed your point about pets and their comforting ability and need to be comforted. Our family dog passed away this January, and we're really missing her right about now.

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  3. Emily EmburyApril 30, 2020 at 4:01 PM

    I like how you pointed out the connection between touch and our pets. It is a very difficult time to be communicating through only screens or with a six foot distance. I have never been one for hugs, but I am very thankful to have a dog to hug right now. It's difficult to be separated from loved ones and friends especially in circumstances such as this and I find that simply petting my dog is really comforting when I'm feeling stressed.

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  4. Karen IizukaMay 3, 2020 at 10:33 AM

    I am grateful that technology allows us to stay connected with our loved ones, but like you wrote in this post, it is definitely not the same as seeing them in person. There's a feeling of being distant that comes with the use of technology as a form of communication because w're not physically with them. My dog and cats have always been a blessing to my family, but especially during this period of time. It's nice knowing that even though we can't communicate with each other through verbal language, we can still engage in tactile communication as a way to show our love and appreciation.

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