The Language of Touch
Classen's The Deepest Sense: A Cultural History of Touch, explores touch in our society. She explains how touch eventually turned into a necessity that connected people socially. Throughout the book, Classen discusses different forms of touch and how we value them.
The vocabulary of touch is incredibly varied and articulate. It can sometimes be confusing for some people how to navigate the societal norms concerning touch. There is the casual professional handshake, which establishes formal respect, while there is also touch that can establish platonic or even sexual intimacy. This kind of intimate touch is usually established with understanding and trust. Sexual and platonic intimacy require a certain level of vulnerability that while slightly awkward, leaves both people feeling loved and comfortable. Unfortunately such intimate touch can be used to assert power and dominance over someone. It depends entirely on context and the relationship. If someone I were dating were to rest their head on my shoulder I would find it endearing and cute, however if say like my boss were to put his or her head on my shoulder I would find it weird and uncomfortable, perhaps not sinister, but weird nonetheless. Actions like that, that cross social boundaries, can quickly escalate to being more and more inappropriate. Since I would conceivably be more vulnerable than my boss (they have control over my salary, promotions etc.) there would be an uneven power dynamic that could potentially leave me feeling used. As important as touch is, it’s even more important to be “fluent” with touch and touch language.
Your post brings up a good point; the way our culture and society has an imprint on physical intimacy. Of course most of us enjoy when our loved ones make contact with us, but I think maybe it can be the other way around, too. Like, some of us may not want that level of connection and it makes us seem detached or unloving because touch is the prominent and mainstream way we show affection. Nonetheless, your point about connotations of touch is an interesting and important one... especially when touch is used a power dynamic.
ReplyDeleteGood points by both of you, Will and Alissa.
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