My 'taste' on touch

By Anonymous -

My taste on touch, inspired by Elizabeth Robinson

Image result for licking someoneDuring Tuesday's class Elizabeth Robinson, a massage therapist came in to discuss touch with us. When she began by asking for volunteers and activities I immediately felt uncomfortable... "I do not like to be 'touched,'I meekly announced to her. It seemed as though not many others in the class felt the same way, they were quick to volunteer to be touched, or touch.

What made me different?

Ms. Robinson heard me, she reassured me by saying I was not a lone and some people did not necessarily enjoy being touched, or even touching others; she said this had a lot to do with how we grew up. I was constantly surrounded by people who loved me as a child, and who showed me their physical affection, but I was never affectionate with my dad. To this day I only feel comfort and trust in the arms of my mom.
Ms. Robinson asked if anyone in the class had ever had a massage, I was part of the minority who had not. I began to picture how awkward and uncomfortable I would be lying naked on a massage table letting a stranger knead the knots out of my back. I wondered how people could just trust them so easily to touch their body. I then thought about other interactions that dealt with touching, although  I like, no love to touch my own hair there are few people who I will let join in that. I think this has a lot to do with how much I trust the person, and how close I want them to my body.

This connection between touch and trust reminded me of the reading. The ideas of middle age communal living that involved a life where touching was constant, but in many ways through food, bath, sleep, physical intimacy  formed relationships of trust. I thought back to the monks who required a kiss to seal the deal for a contract because it was more powerful than a handshake. In my relationships with close friends, as we see in this picture of Katie and I we close transactions with a loving hug. This is a hug I would not give/ receive from someone i did not feel extremely comfortable with, it is only because I trust her so much that I let her into my 'little bubble' and let her embrace me.

Although I am highly allergic to animals, and have had some frightening experiences with them I think that with certain fury friends I have developed enough trust in that specific animal that I know only allow them to touch me but I want them to, and love to be cuddled and snuggled by them. I think  looking back on my relationship with animals is a good place for me start when looking at the changes touch has taken in my life. As a baby I was extremely attached to my Aunt's cat Sasha, but after being attacked by two of my neighbors dogs at age 8 I quickly found animals were not for me. I would cross the street anytime I saw a dog, I could not be in people's homes who had animals. But as I grew older I developed certain biases for animals I 'trusted,' as the above image shows. I still may cross the street is there is a dog I do not necessarily trust but there are more dogs I will look and and have to ask the owner if I can give their dog some love, then there are the dogs that I miss constantly, and have to beg their owners to see them. Although I know my life is on a blip in the grand scheme of things that the book was discussing I find it interesting that the book looked at the historical progression and changes in trust on a grand scheme, but we in our own lives can do the very same thing. 




Comments

  1. Jonathan Brumberg-KrausMay 8, 2015 at 9:22 AM

    As you can read in some of the other posts prompted by Elizabeth Robinson's visit, you were definitely not alone in the class in being ambivalent about being touched, probably for a lot of the same reasons you listed. Touch is so fraught with so many different kinds of emotional associations we attach to it. And yet as Gaby pointed out, starting as babies we need it and crave it, though later we learn socially to limit and circumscribe our need to touch and be touched.The notion of "good" touch and "bad touch" has been sexualized, indeed, criminalized in some cases, colored especially by very real concerns about sexual exploitation and violence. So how can we ethically (and comfortably) fulfill our very real emotional needs to be physically touched and to touch?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Amidst the Pandemic

By -
Image
I think having the opportunity to take Smells and Bells and then experiencing a worldwide pandemic came with good timing. Oftentimes, we’re so rushed to get from one one place to another that we miss out on what happens around us. We’re so accustomed to the lifestyle of being busy that it has become the norm for many of us. However, the pandemic has forced us to slow down. We’re now appreciating everything that we had previously taken for granted and noticing things in our surroundings that we have never noticed before.  Take this quarantining/social distancing as an opportunity to be more aware of what you experience through the senses. I don’t think my senses have necessarily heightened over the past 5 weeks, but I am actively making the choice to pay more attention to what I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. I like going on nature/mindfulness walks and basking in the sunshine out in my backyard. This morning, I could hear a faint noise from the wind, hear the birds chirpin...
Read more

Healing, purity, and revitalization: A tour of Kashmiri staple spices

By -
Image
“So, Adi, what do you want to know about spices?” These were the words that started my evening at Iqbal’s, an old family friend and professor of management at UMass Amherst alongside my parents. Although his department is that of economics, his expertise, in my opinion, lies in the realm of authentic Kashmiri cooking. He taught me and my parents how food is traditionally eaten by hand in India, how they were often served in large, metal bowls in which the individual components of the meal were free to mix, and now (at the behest of my parents) I’d come to learn about the nuances of spice in Iqbal’s cultural background. Admittedly, I had no idea what questions to ask or where to start, but thankfully Iqbal came prepared for this lesson. He opened a large drawer underneath the counter, revealing countless honey-jars repurposed for spice containment. “In just about all religions, spices have been used as disinfectant,” Iqbal tells me as he passes me a handful of cloves, prom...
Read more

In conclusion

By Anonymous -
I signed up to take this class in order to fulfill a connection (with nutrition), something that the administration of our college is moving to phase out or perhaps alter significantly. And while I found some connections to be a stretch, looking at the catalogue of what was possible, I thought most were solid. However I'm still pissed at the school for not letting me connect a class about the religion of Judaism and a class on the history of Jews in Europe, seemed like a layup, but I digress. I'm still glad I took the class. While I can't promise I'll retain all the content, I do feel like I learned a decent amount about my peers in the class. People sharing anecdotes about memories brought on by smells and sounds, it reminded me about how interesting people can be and what the human mind can do. Also I had fun during the banquet, making a pizza, for a live audience, wearing a shirt saying "Pizza's got your back", but sadly theres nothing on the back o...
Read more