Soap and Gardenias

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    I’ve never had a strong sense of smell, or at least as far as I feel. It takes a strong smell for me to really be able to sense it, and I’m very sensitive to many smells; flavored vape fluids, for example, can and will give me a migraine and sometimes cooking garlic will make me nauseous. So, in a lot of ways, the Ackerman reading felt beyond me. What is it like to smell something so strongly it evokes memories? What’s it like to catch the smallest smell of something and be transported somewhere else? What’s it like to go through the world and be able to smell everything, or almost everything? At best I remember liking the smell from my grandmother’s Firebird when I was little, but even if I smelled that currently, I’m not sure if I’d have the same association.

    Then, I thought more into my life. Not into taste, because while smell is connected to taste, I wanted to focus fully on smell for this. Then, Ackerman began speaking of perfume, and I connected. I love perfume. It’s something designed to be smelled, designed to be extremely fragrant in small doses, designed to have layers. I don’t smell all those layers, I don’t think, but I love smelling the finished products. My favorite scent, Moonstone by Bath and Body Works, is no longer available for retail purchase, and I keep and cherish the products I have left with that scent. One of my biggest smell associations, then, is with myself. I may not be able to smell it well, but I like smelling good, of smelling the products that go on me and deciding what I want to smell like. I have… oh, ten or so soaps at any time in my bathroom, just for my choices. Some are special occasion smells, like Moonstone, but some I use are based on my mood: I have a body wash, scrub, and lotion with a melon and gardenia smell, which is my playful smell; I have a chamomile and bergamot body wash that I use for my lazy, cozy days; cucumber melon tends to be one of my go-tos for days I don’t feel like anything in particular; and I’ve recently come to realize I love charcoal and watermelon scents, but probably not together.

    My other smell association, I think, is with nature. I worked in a nursery for several years and, while it took a very strongly fragrant flower for me to be able to smell it, I loved every single one I could smell. Gardenia, then, is a favorite of mine. Fragrant roses can steal my heart, especially if they’re yellow or purple. I habitually smell every slower someone gives me, to try to see if I can smell it, because I love everything flowery I’ve been able to.

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