Vision, Fear and Awe

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 I have a fear of going blind. Not, like, greatest fear of all time, but easily in my top three. This is both a reasonable and fully ridiculous fear as (1) I do have a medical issue that affects my eyes but (2) it has never affected my vision, nor would it have ever made me go blind, but I was 14 when I was diagnosed, assumed it was a possibility, and did not bother to confirm that for long enough that I internalized it.

It's also the only sense that I'm "good" at, as little sense (haha, sense) as that makes. My sense of smell is awful as I've said before, I never hear things right (though that's less a hearing issue and more a focus issue), and though it's hard to quantify touch as a skill, I certainly would've been bad at the touch group's guessing game from their presentation.

My sight, on the other hand, is perfect (Technically better than, since my vision is 20/15 and "perfect" is 20/20). I'm the only person in my family to not have glasses and I'm very proud of this. 3squeezes: DIY Eye Chart Love Note

But Eck's concept of vision as sacred resonated with me largely because I think of vision as very precious. My slightly silly fear of going blind means that I've always taken the ability to see very seriously. To revise my answer to an icebreaker from a week or two ago (because I go first and sometimes think of a better answer later), the most amazing thing I've ever seen was a sunset while on a 45 minute flight flying west. We kept flying towards the sun, so the sunset lasted almost the entire flight. Vision is awe-inspiring and I think that's probably why the idea of losing it is so frightening.

Comments

  1. Jonathan Brumberg-KrausApril 28, 2022 at 6:36 AM

    Very thoughtful, self-perceptive, and powerful reflection on the "sacredness" of sight for you.

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  2. Liv GregoryApril 28, 2022 at 6:54 AM

    I completely understand this fear, I feel that seeing is definitely the sense we notice the most. I remember reading "City of Ember" when I was a kid and remembering the scenes where all the lights in the city would go out and how terrifying and dangerous it was for the main character, even though it would only happen for a few minutes at a time. Not being able to see became one of my new biggest fears after that.

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