Touch: a low sense with high connection
Touch: a low sense with high connection
How I connect touch in direct care to my religious practice
In my time as direct care staff I have worked through several levels of physical contact. When I began as an intern I was unable to make any supporting physical contact with individuals. This meant that I was able to haigh-five and occasionally hug participants but unable to assist those who needed physical support to be mobile. I could push a wheelchair if the individual was capable of driving it themselves but unable to walk with an individual who uses a gait belt.
In the beginning, I often felt like I was unable to help. I would see other staff stretched very thin and needing extra hands to make sure all the individuals were getting their needs met. I was unable to step in and provide the support they needed. During this time I did a lot of watching. I reminded myself that an important part of my experience was just to be proximate to this type of need. Historically the individuals I support have been hidden away leading to their lack of interaction with others as well as the public's lack of awareness of their existence and how to support them.
I experienced the difference between learning through observation and hands-on learning though when I became a full employee. Suddenly not only was I supporting individuals with mobility but I was also toileting, dressing, and showering them. I was intimidated by many of these tasks but have come to feel quite honored by the fact that I am trusted by many different people with such an intimate task.
One of my most profound experiences of touch within my job was actually while putting on an individual's bowling shoes last summer. I was still new to the position of a full-time staff and we were on one of my first outings of the summer. I spend a lot of my time in day habilitation programming with the individuals we support. This looks like playing games, listening to music, monitoring lunch, assisting with hygiene, and working on goals such as speech, exercise, and money skills. We have several outings a week though where a small group of individuals gets to leave program and spend time in the community. There are walking groups that go to malls and parks, women's groups, men's groups, and every Wednesday there are several trips to Dunkin'.I was out with participants on a weekly bowling trip when I bent down to assist an individual in putting on their shoes. An image of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples entered my mind and I felt a confirmation from God that this field of work was where He wanted me. I got quite emotional and referred back to that moment several times in the last year.
When I had the opportunity to work within the issue of disability advocacy and faith in an academic context during the fall semester I spent a lot of time praying about how to respond. After running into a few roadblocks along the way I was upset that God would let something so good and interesting be presented to me but that I would feel so conflicted over participating. Then the image of me putting on the individual's bowling shoes was brought back to my mind. I interpreted this as God telling me that for now, He wants me to continue embodying the gospel through direct care. My saying no to the academic opportunity would not negatively impact my ability to make an impact. The physical work I was doing and continue to do matters no less.
While debating my response to this opportunity I was somewhat tempted to favor a "higher level" of work such as studying and creating a systematic theology of disability over the direct care of those with disabilities who were already in front of me. Similarly, we talk about the connotations of higher and lower senses in comparison to higher and lower body parts. Jesus cleans our lowest parts (physically and spiritually) which supports me in thinking that he would lead me to choose embodied care.
“Jesus provided a biblical model of miraculous healing in the cures he reputedly effected with a word or touch. The saintly were believed to carry on this tradition and to similarly be able to heal with a touch” (Classen, 49)
I may not have experienced or witnessed any miraculous physical healing yet, but I have seen miraculous spiritual and mental healing both personally and through observation. I pray I am able to bring some ounce of physical healing to the individuals I support through my direct care work especially those who have experienced a life filled with traumatic touch.
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