Anaphrodiasiacs?

 

I accompany my Chase Dining Hall meals with a TV show (Hulu, because Netflix has caught onto the fact that I’m not in my hometown any more) and recently it’s been The Great— a dramatized and sillified adaptation of the life of Catherine the Great, because I have developed an addiction to powered wigs and panniers— and in it is a scene where she is attempting to seduce a prospective conspirer. Beforehand, her maid gives her the advice to “eat the oysters. They’ll help your mood.” Of course, the man picks up none of her signals, and the oysters are spoiled. So, because in Natural History of the Senses Ackerman pays so much attention to sexy food, I want to try to explore unsexy food, inspired by the Empress of Russia puking oysters. Apologies for the ridiculousness. 

Some of Ackerman’s reasoning is all to do with the earthiness of food. “Food is created by the sex of plants or of animals; and we find it sexy. When we eat an apple or peach, we are eating the fruit’s placenta” (93). She also notes that many aphrodisiacs are considered such because of their resemblance to human bodies or body parts, and that some gain aphrodisiac status just by being rare foods. So, perhaps an anaphrodisiac food would have to be something completely unnatural, but very common, and bearing as little similarity to a sex organ as possible. My two immediate thoughts: Cornflakes and the deli ham copypasta. The latter is just this:  

 

A meme I've seen that I like the dramatics of.

 

The former refers to the popular internet myth that John Kellogg created Corn Flakes specifically as a food that would decrease one’s interest in masturbation. That’s not true, apparently, (thank you Snopes,) but Kellogg was against most sexual activity, and considered stimulants and spices to be too exciting. I should probably put in a source for this. Well, he wrote a book I briefly skimmed a page of for this, and it was really weird, and it’s called “Plain Facts for Old and Young: Embracing the Natural History and Hygiene of Organic Life” which is really funny considering it’s another title with “Natural History” in it… In any case, Corn Flakes were created to be part of his recommended healthy diet. That leads me to suggest that the ultimate reverse aphrodisiac, the food that is the furthest from sexy, is something very processed and bland. Completely unnatural and very common, just like the above deli ham. 

Of course, I’m mostly only joking, because the truth is that a great deal of what makes a food magical is the power of suggestion and what meaning it takes on to the person eating it. Every culture might have its own kind of dumplings, but they’re all uniquely influenced by what culture is making them, and that must apply to foods that are supposed to have special powers as well.