Social Eating

“Therefore the reverent person ought to have his intention connected to the higher things, and have his eating be to sustain his body alone and not to be drawn to physical pleasures, for being drawn to physical pleasures is the cause for the loss of both body and soul, and the cause for forgetting the point, for out of eating and drinking he will become full of himself [lit., lift up his heart] and stumble into great pitfalls and sins, and do things which should not be done.”


This quote from the Second Gate perplexed me. The idea that a person could altogether avoid taking pleasure from food seems odd. If food did not make us feel good, if it was just a tool to avoid starving, much of the social and cultural aspects of eating would become irrelevant. Taste is the sense that has the most power to bring us together.

Eating is a social behavior. We come together for family meals, we mark special occasions and holidays by altering what we eat, we celebrate by eating, we make guests feel welcome by eating. Because basically everyone likes eating you can be pretty sure that it will provide a good focal point for a social gathering. Sharing a pleasurable experience brings people closer. Everyone is more open to conversation and forming new friendships when their stomach is pleasantly full. I can’t help but think of the nature of conversation before and after Christmas dinner. Before the meal, everyone is tense. We are worried about being polite, about asking the right questions and giving the right answers. After we’ve eaten it could be an entirely different family. People are joking and yelling and laughing and saying things no one would have dreamed of just an hour ago. The collective meal is the cause of this; everyone has shared a pleasurable experience, the result of which is strengthened relationships. The wine doesn’t hurt either.

However, if food is simply meant to keep our physical bodies running, it loses this important function. There would be no point in gathering together for an experience that brings no pleasure. Christmas dinner would consist of everyone eating powdered milk alone in their rooms to sustain their bodies until the next day. No one would want to make the drive out in the cold to a meal if there was no chance of it tasting good or being pleasurable for them. Eating then becomes an unremarkable event, and therefore loses its ability to build relationships.

Perhaps ritual is what protects us from “stumbling into great pitfalls and sins.” We should take the time to appreciate how lucky we are to be eating something so delicious, even if that is just telling whoever cooked for you “Gee, this smells great!” If we use rituals and mindfulness when eating, maybe we can avoid becoming full of ourselves, even if we are being just a little bit gluttonous.

The Tomas practice a "ritual of dinner." Christmas Day, 2015