Cooking as a Contrarian

 As some of you who have taken classes with me know, I have always been a bit of a contrarian. Stubborn and set in my ways, yet also uncompromising in my beliefs for what I think is right. One of the earliest instances of this was me, at age six, deciding to be a vegetarian. This was originally due to my sensory issues eating meat, as I, like many other people on the autism spectrum, experience sensory issues with certain foods. Only later did I learn about abuses in the factory-farming system (especially through the activism of fellow autistic Temple Grandin), which only furthered my belief. Though I have never attempted to impose my beliefs on others (I promise I won't be an insane vegan who stops you from eating meat), I have always held strictly to this for myself. 

This has caused several problems for me over the years, namely when I was ten. My mom was dealing with health issues when I was in fifth grade, eventually being diagnosed with a uterine disorder that put her in the hospital more often than not, and even when she was home, she was too weak to cook. As we were a single-parent household since my father passed away earlier on in my childhood, my mom had to rely on my paternal uncle for childcare, who was willing to move in with us temporarily as she got treatment. However, he refused to learn how to cook vegetarian food. 

                                                               Me, age ten

The obvious solution for a ten year old would be to capitulate and eat what I was given. However, my stubbornness would not allow that. So, after returning from my first year of middle school, I would often start slicing vegetables and tofu, washing rice or boiling water for pasta. I quickly learned how to utilize my mom's spice cabinet, to properly appease my sensibilities and create a flavorful dish. Learning to cook was a necessity for me, or else I would not eat. Often, my sister ate from my dishes, rather than my uncle's, and he later moved out due to his drug problems, shortly before my mom's condition was treated permanently. Soon, I was able to live the life of a normal ten-year-old again, but still occasionally made dinner for my family. 

This love of cooking has stayed with me. Like many of the participants in Perez's text Religion in the Kitchen, cooking provides me with a sense of agency and creativity. Though the situations were far from equal, when I read about the Lucumi ancestors cooking as a part of their enslavement, but deriving joy and agency from the practice of cooking and using it for their devotion, I remembered this period in my childhood. Of learning to cook under duress, but eventually finding my own creative voice in how I do it, and gaining a sense of power and independence through the kitchen. Though, instead of worshipping Orisha, I was showing devotion to my own morals, tastes, and independence. 

          The most recent dish I cooked- soup in roasted pumpkin, on a recent weekend visit home.